To Leonor

I was just distracting myself on the Internet.

It has been a good week, a lil' bit stressing but I've been feeling good.

I just read her post and I almost cried. Her post wasn't for me, was for herself, but this one is for her.

Since September 2009 a bunch of things changed. I lost my best friend that decided to not talk to me for some reason, I lost another friend 'cause I got sick of her, I wanted things that I saw on the other people that I didn't have (and I don't have yet but now it doesn't matter) and I isolated myself. I lost my touch with my colleagues and I almost only spoke with three people.
I was unhappy almost all the time, cried several times, I felt suffocating. I didn't feel well anywhere. I didn't tell how I was feeling to anyone. I kept it to myself but my poems revealed how dark my soul was.

But the change wasn't just at 2009. At September 2008 things changed drasticly. My boyfriend broke-up with me and everything turned into a mess. I know what she's feeling right now. I really do. I suffered the same. And a bunch things were new, like the school and the colleagues... My best friend went into another school and I just knew two people in my class. I missed my old colleagues with wich I had a wonderful connection. They were at a different school or at a different class... I felt lost. But than I got new friends and I kept some of the old friends and the distance between my best friend and me wasn't a problem. I felt good. But in 2009 everything was bad again.

However now I can say that I'm okay. I got some friends like Leonor. She's my best friend. And I keep Lucas has my male best friend :)
This is all just to say to you that I REALLY know what's going on with you, with your mind... Do you remember when we had a talk about our fears? I mean that time that we were at class and I told you that my biggest fear was not be successful? Do you remember that? I do. And you told me that you had the same fear. We told each-other that we were afraid of at 80 years old we look back and think: "What did I do? My whole life was a waste of time".
But you know what? I'm truly certain that you won't have that problem. You're a good person. You are. If you weren't I wouldn't call you my best-friend. At least I'm sure that I had already discovered.
Now everything seems awful and it seems like a broken bottle of perfume. And it seems that you can't fix it. Maybe you won't. But you have more perfumes. You have friends, you have your family and you have A LIFE. A whole life. It's a miracle.
Be strong. I'm not saying this 'cause you have to. You have to but the truth is that you are strong.

And I'll miss you :')

Yours,

B.